The Condition of Love

There is no such thing as unconditioned love. Duh! What a truism! most of you will say. Well, you should know I am not writing this down for the many, but for the few. Those few might say: How about one loving somebody without expecting anything in return! Isn’t that unconditioned love? Oh, yeah! Something like this is still possible and is such a magnificent feeling. But… sorry to disappoint you folks! It’s not at all the expression of unconditioned love.

One loves without expecting anything in return because one has reasons. The object of one’s love fulfills the condition of being beautiful, or smart, or intelligent, or intriguing, or complex, or misterious, or… anything you can think of. Some of those are the condition for one’s non-expectance in return for the feelings. There is nothing to expect, ‘cause one has already got something in return for one’s love: the beauty, or the mistery, or the complexity, or the intelligence etc.

Voices will raise: No, no, no! I’m sure he/she loves me for simply being. And he/she doesn’t expect anything in return. True. But he/she can do that because you are fulfilling the main condition of being loved: YOU EXIST!

Do you still believe in unconditioned love?

6 Responses to The Condition of Love

  1. thornofrose spune:

    Of course i beleve in unconditioned love. That he/she exist, isn’t a condition, is a fact. If he/she, doesn’t exist, we love unconditioned.. what?

    • Egumenul Sanctuarului spune:

      @thornofrose: Well, I think it depends form which angle you look at the situation. When I stated „you are” as a condition for unconditioned love, I didn’t mean the physical existence of any person. I reffered to a concept, an ideal if you wish, a special person that has to appear in your life so you can love her/him unconditioned. And this is a condition that has to be fulfilled, not a fact. It becomes a fact when the person appears. Until then, it remains a condition. This how I see it. Hope I was clear enough. If not, ask me more 🙂

      @INTJ: Basically, you’re telling me that we really can’t explain why we are falling in love, so we create reasons because we don’t want to lose the reliability of our minds. Well, I really don’t dig the idea that falling in love is an inexplicable phenomenon 😀 I think everything that happens has an explanation, not necessarily rational, even if we can’t picture it. Nothing is unexplicable, just unreacheable for our minds.

  2. thornofrose spune:

    Btw, great snactuary ! 🙂

  3. INTJ spune:

    to have a reason means to go trough a rational process (similar to thinking for example „because of X, therefore Y”) … and that’s not the case of love. people „fall in love” (usually they „find themselves loving”), they don’t „think/reason themselves into love”! the initial existence of a reason … is pure speculation in a already given situation, because no human can choose to (really) love and because those in love with imaginary loves are usually locked away and ignored for „not beeing normal”! also, because we can’t choose to „start to love” … the word „unconditional” doesn’t describe initial conditions, but (future) conditions existing after we realize we’re in love. so, by saying for example „you love him/her because he/she is beautiful” you’re rationally looking for an excuse … which is badly needed by your reason/mind „to explain” it’s own (past, present or future) failure „to prevent” love from appearing. without that (invented) reason, your mind looses it’s credibility and becomes unreliable … and who needs an unreliable mind?

  4. INTJ spune:

    „Nothing is unexplicable, just unreacheable for our minds.” … if our minds can’t reach it (allthough it’s existence is imho undeniable), doesn’t that qualify it as „inexplicable” ? :))

    • Egumenul Sanctuarului spune:

      No, it doesn’t! Or, at least, not for all of us (and certainly not for me 🙂 ). Let me tell you why. The unreacheable becomes unexplicable for the minds that don’t try to reach it or give up reaching it.

      Think of the things that are explainable today. And think that, a hundred years ago, many were cosidered inexplicable. But someone, somehow, managed to explain them. How do you explain that? 😀 I’ll say it to you: because those things were never inexplicable, just unreachable. That someone persisted on reaching them, and did it 😉

      Now, returning to falling in love… I’m sure it’s only unreachable and it can be reached, no doubt. But… a big and heavy but: reaching its essence will help us understand it and use it better, wiser, or solving the mistery of falling in love will kill its uniqueness and, eventually, the feeling itself??!

      Some secrets are meant to remain buried! Is the mechanism of falling in love one of those secrets or not? 🙂

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